Michael Orton-Toliver (fourmdot) wrote,
Michael Orton-Toliver

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The Wonder Years

I just finished watching the first five seasons of “The Wonder Years” . It took me about two weeks to watch all ninety three episodes. What a great show! But, I have some notes:

1.) Kevin is a fucking asshole to Paul:

Kevin and Paul are supposed to be “best friends” , but all I ever noticed was Kevin bitching to him
LIKE A BITCH! Paul should have gotten some balls and left Kevin at the waste side a long fucking time ago.In one episode Kevin makes Paul miss work (for which he almost gets fired)in order to drive three hours to a lake so that Kevin can hook up with some girl that he met almost a year before. Of course, they never hook up and Kevin realizes that he still loves Winnie Cooper. All while Paul sits in the car reading a map! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PAUL?!?!

In one episode Paul’s dad strikes it rich and buys a pool and brand new color TV. Kevin bitches about it the whole episode and then Paul’s dad looses his fortune and cries in front of everyone….

Are you fucking kidding me?

2.) Kevin Arnold has “Rainman” memory

How the fuck does he remember all that shit?!? Even scenes he wasn’t in!!! Not to mention he must be boring as fuck to hang out with in the future; always telling stories and stuff. Plus, who talks that way unless their life goes completely to hell? Like Saliari (sp?) in “Amedeus” . Did Winnie Cooper get breast cancer in the future or something? The whole show is like he’s giving each character their eulogy.

3.) Winnie isn’t all that hot.

She’s got charm and a really cute face, but Kevin had way hotter girls during the run of the show. In episode forty eight Madeline Adams kisses him for no reason!! She’s WAAAAYYYY hotter than Winnie. And in episode fifty eight he actually gets a chance to date her, but he chooses to fawn over Winnie instead… idiot.

Madeline Adams: “I never saw what the big deal about Winnie Cooper was anyway.”


4.) Who is video tapping all that shit?

About forty percent of the episodes start with old family videos featuring EVERY family member. Who is shooting all that shit and why? Sounds too expensive for Jack Arnold’s liking. I can’t wait to film of every day of my child’s life and then stop when they turn twelve. Fuck Graduation!

5.) Kevin’s brother looks like Alf.

All in all I love the show.

Great soundtrack.

P.S. Todd comes to visit today. I can't wait.
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